Next Year I Promise I Will NOT …

2013 is approaching and as I look back on the past year I find myself reflecting on what went well and what did not.  So the done thing is to make some new year’s resolutions.    The same time last year I promised myself I would start running, eat healthily, find my degree interesting and stop biting my finger nails.  By the 5th January I was sat in front of the TV in my newly purchased running gear, eating a 1 kilogram bar of dairy milk chocolate, in a deep state of denial about the large pile of books on the French Revolution lying on my desk, whilst intermittently biting my finger nails in a state of panic about my other three resolutions.  It is safe to say that this trend continued well into 2012.

It's safe to say this was not me!

It’s safe to say this was not me!

This year I’m not going to set myself resolutions in the traditional sense, I’m going to make a promise to myself about what I am NOT going to do!  I see it as channelling my inner whiner!  But these are definitely my top three.

Number 1 – I refuse to be inspired!

A hasty statement perhaps but I will explain.  I watched the Olympics, I enjoyed the Olympics, I believed with no training or commitment I could become the next Jess Ennis.  In short it is fair to say I felt the Olympics was inspiring, but my inspiration only went as far as buying some trainers!  So when I say I refuse to be inspired.  What I actually mean is I refuse to be inspired, spend money on my new inspiration and fail to commit to the cause.

Number 2 – I will NOT think up ridiculous money making schemes!

I say this as I have a penchant for believing, as exhibited by my Olympics example that I do not need to plan things.  In my wisdom I thought I could write a book in 2 weeks, send it to a publisher and be a millionaire before returning to university in October.  One small problem was that I didn’t actually have an idea for a story; but knew that 50 shades of Grey had been a big seller, so set about writing my own version.  It is safe to say that 50 shades of brown remains in a state of permanent incompleteness!

Number 3 – I will not embark upon DIY skin care projects!

Now when I say DIY skin care I mean, in essence homemade face masks.  Lidl at some point in 2012 had avocados for sale at about 30p each.  I thought ‘bargain!’ so bought 5.  Of course having not thought the process through I couldn’t think of anything to make with avocado except guacamole.  So they stayed in my fridge for 2 weeks before I hit upon the idea of making a facemask.  The face mask was a combination of avocado, natural yoghurt and honey – a recipe I wish I had never  found on the internet.  I mixed up as it said to do and applied to my face.  Unfortunately the avocado pieces were too heavy and gravity came into play.  I had pieces of avocado falling into my eyes, mouth, lap and covering the table I was working at with a thick unpleasant, lumpy, green paste.  And to top it all off when it was removed – my face was just sticky – Not a success!

Face mask take 2:  the turmeric disaster!  This one was truly the worst of all, I forget the other ingredients but I know there was turmeric.  I mixed it all together, applied to the face and left for 30 minutes.  Unfortunately upon removing the facemask I was made aware of the fact that turmeric stains.  I was yellow for a week!

Sigh!

New-Year-2013-Frog

Happy New Year Everyone!

Follow me on Twitter @LucyBarclay1

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Humans no longer need food and water! Well that’s gonna save me some monies!

Apparently people can now live off sun light alone. Well slap my ass and call me a plant then! If apparently I can photosynthesise, then my years of education have most certainly been in vain!

Having said that never needing to buy food again would save me some pennies – Although I do live in Wales! The likelihood of me coming into contact with enough sun to live off is unlikely in the extreme. I might have to have a little search on Google and find me a rain diet – that might suit my circumstances a little better!

This diet was brought to my attention after reading in the news that a woman in Sweden died (unsurprisingly) after following the ill-judged Sunshine diet. According to the diet, we can all live exclusively on sunshine. All the nutrients we need to survive can be absorbed into our bodies from the sun and through meditation.

If that’s true, then why do any governments or charities send aid to Africa or any other starving nation? God if we can all live off sunshine alone, then why don’t we just send across meditation teachers instead and be done with it?
Why? That’s right because your body needs food. And a point to mention, the sunshine diet not only advocates no food but no water either. Now even a plant needs water!

But amidst this ridiculousness there are those who have claimed to have lived years without food or water. Apparently through meditation the brain produces the essential nutrients and fats necessary for survival.

Now I’ve heard of a placebo effect and do not deny that the brain is a truly incredible thing, it produces thoughts, dreams, hallucinations etc etc! But to produce actual physical nutrients and fats is something quite different! Sounds like magic, but maybe me being the simple muggle (and yes I did slip in a Harry Potter reference there) that I am cannot comprehend such a thing.

Call me a sceptic, but I cannot and will not believe we can live our lives without food and water, absorbing everything we need to survive from the sun!

 Follow me on twitter: @LucyBarclay1

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